Overcoming Negativity

Life is a matter of perspective. You can choose to see the good things or the negative things. What you focus on also depicts your maturity level. Mature (healthy) people see good things, immature (unhealthy) people read things negatively.

You go somewhere with a friend and you pull into where you are going. Your friend admires the lovely flowers and landscaping while you notice the weeds.

We all get overwhelmed sometimes, but if you’re a highly sensitive person, life can feel like it’s spinning out of control — fast. Seemingly “little” things that don’t bother other people sometimes completely overtake you. What might be a minor irritation to others may make your palms sweat, upset your stomach, or quickly zap your energy.

You may have been hurt in life somehow, enduring abuse in the past. This happened to me and I had damaged emotions but I healed from those things and I now see life in a better way. I am aware of the bad things people do, but I don’t focus on it. I no longer nit pick on people who do things that I don’t do but are completely fine.

With maturity comes a better view of life and people it doesn’t mean we are naive to the problems, it means we don’t have time to focus on them. It’s counterproductive and life is just too short to waste it on petty things.

I have learned that if we are children of light let’s stop focusing on the darkness. Scripture says that we abide in the faith, it doesn’t say we come and go.

Maturity causes us to be less intrusive toward other people, while immaturity causes us to be concerned where we should not be concerned. Immaturity causes our insight to be dimmed, we don’t see how we affect other people by our words and actions. Yet very little things bother us.

Being sensitive is not a bad thing. However, if we are immature and sensitive, things will bother us easily. On the other hand if we are mature and sensitive our concern will be for other people’s needs and we will not be hurt easily ourselves.

Highly sensitive people tend to process all forms of stimulation deeply due to differences in their nervous systems; this includes what they see, touch, taste, think, and experience. As a result of that deep processing, they get mentally overloaded quicker.

Life can be tiring for the highly sensitive person (HSP). However, due to their depth of processing, HSPs may need more sleep than others. When they don’t get that sleep, they miss an important opportunity to rest and reset their ramped-up senses. For the HSP, running on little shut-eye can feel like the very definition of hell — every minor irritation and inconvenience is ratcheted up exponentially.

Highly sensitive people notice little things that others might miss. A lot of little things, especially when it comes to other people. They notice when someone’s tone of voice doesn’t match their words. They notice when someone won’t meet their eyes when answering a question. And they may find themselves agonizing over the interaction afterward, especially if they suspect the other person wasn’t being completely honest, or worse, is upset with them. However, this can cause them to read people incorrectly because they are judging them with their senses. I learned long ago this can be dangerous and can also be a defense mechanism we use to control other people.

I remember when I was younger noticing too much of the negative and focusing on that. So much that I was very depressed many times. I wanted to control other people around me to tidy up my own little world so that I could have Shalom. But I came to realize that is artificial and the only true Shalom I could ever find could only come from within once I worked on myself. We can never have Shalom from without, to think so we deceive ourselves.

I wanted to control people around me so I could be happy and make them do what I wanted them to do so my emotions would not be hurt. I got hurt many times by what other people said or did to me. And they picked on me more because I was overly sensitive. Once I grew out of that I no longer needed to control people around me because I found true Shalom that can only come from within. I don’t have depression any more, I am happy and I enjoy life. I no longer nit pick on things people do. I came to realize that we are all basically the same and if I need to be lifted up, so do other people.

I stopped letting things other people do affect me. I realized to do so made me the victim, not them. They did nothing wrong, the problem was me and I had to work on me to make the difference. I realized that vain attempt in trying to change people to make my world happy and the time I wasted in doing so. But to change me became more of a reality even though it took time. And today I still continue to work on myself so I can improve every day. My focus is no longer in fixing other people, what a waste of time. My focus is on improving myself, so I can have a positive affect on others.

Messiah’s words speak clearly to me in this passage:
Stop judging, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the beam in your own eye? Or how will you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and look, the beam is in your own eye? Hypocrite, first take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Matthew 7:1-5 TLV

That beam took time for me to remove, but I knew when it came out. And I watch continually that it doesn’t return. True humilty is never found outside of loving others. When we nit pick, control others and are hurt by other people’s actions that we are offended, we are not loving. It took a long time for me to learn that. But every word in scripture about the love of Yehovah spoke loudly and clearly to me.

My focus on life is completely different today and I have come to realize that what comes from other people is about them, not me. If they insult me, it’s about them, not me. If they hate me, it’s about them, not me. We won’t ever make it into eternity to see Yehovah without holiness. How can we think we are holy if we are so easily offended by others?

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not brag, it is not puffed up, it does not behave inappropriately, it does not seek its own way, it is not provoked, it keeps no account of wrong, it does not rejoice over injustice but rejoices in the truth; it bears all things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 TLV